A Writer Writes...

Our lives begin long before we take our first breath.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The Greatest Man I Know

Building a Family
He was just about 17 when he married my grandmother, America, in Ecuador.  She already had two sons, but he took care of them as his own.  Together they had four more children.

Luis made the decision to move this family of 8 to New York in the early 1960's.  They settled in Queens and squeezed into a one bedroom apartment.  Both my grandparents set out to work and put their children through school.  He worked as a carpenter and she worked in a sewing factory.  If you asked him if he missed Ecuador, he'd say, "I like it here."

They were the typical immigrant family.  Work work work, family family family, church church church.  There was no need for anything else.

Providing a Home
Eventually, my Grandfather bought his first house in Woodside, Queens.  It has 2 floors and they turned the attic into a full 3rd floor apartment.  It's a big yellow house, with brick steps, large windows and a garden where he planted little trees and flowers and roses.  And a great garage and work space in the back, for a man that loved to fix and build things. In every picture he took in front of his house, you could tell he was proud of his home.

My grandmother fondly recalls when he would meet her at the 61st train station and walk her safely home after work.  When she was sick, he took care of her.  When she needed something, he would do everything in his power to get it for her.

Jump to the 1980's and here's where I have my own memories of my grandfather.  I wrote about my first memory previously as being the morning I woke up before the rest of my family and he sat me on his knee.  He always hummed a tune that would put us to sleep (Ahsinaninanina, Ahsucasucasuca...).

Owning and Maintaining a Car
One thing everyone knows about my grandpa is his love for big cars.  First he had a big, old fashion, orange-ish farmer's truck.  Next he bought a huge, white station wagon we called "Moby Dick."  His last car was a large, luxury Dodge Ram, with a TV and VCR for us kids to enjoy as he drove us around...always taking the long way.

Anyone of those cars would still be around today if it weren't for the need to upgrade.  We kept the Ram...the TV still works too!

Builds Stuff
He knew I loved to read.  I had so may books that he built me a bookshelf of my very own to put them on display.  Whenever I won an award at school, he'd make it a custom frame.  When I wanted to skateboard like my cousin Omar, he fixed up a skateboard he found (it disappeared after I skinned my knees one too many times, however).  

One time I was crying over something and he walked into the room and said, "Why are you crying?  I'm not dead yet!" and then made a funny face with his tongue hanging out and hands flailing.  I think I choked on my tears and started laughing.  Grandpa always had a smile or silly face for me.  He'd make up songs or silly dances to get me to laugh.

Takes Action
At 14, I spent half a winter season wearing a flimsy, blue-quilt jacket instead a good, warm coat.  When I went to his house with just this jacket he drove me straight to Steinway and we went in and out of shops until I found a proper coat that I liked.  I eventually chose a red hooded coat with barrel-hook buttons.  I must've looked like little red riding hood, but he purchased it and promptly made me wear it.

One might think I was his favorite grandchild, but he did stuff like this with all his grandchildren! All 10 of us along with a whole lot of great-grandchildren!


No man is perfect.  But there are a few that come close.  My Grandfather, Luis, is one of the few and dying breed of true men.  We lost him to cancer a year ago today, but his life, lessons, and love continue to make an impact in this world.

Wonder Woman Doesn't Wait for Superman...

           "I'm a teacher"


           "Oh," pause. "So what grade do you teach?"


           "Middle School"


           "Ooooooh


It's not even "Oooooh, that must be a challenge" its like "Ooooooh, you must have been desperate to find a job."  


No, I was not desperate.


Yes, I am a teacher...to 13 year olds...in a public school...in New York City.


But the worst is:


           "I'm a teacher"


           "Nice...summers off...home by 3...every other week there's a holiday.  That's gotta be the easiest job in the world!"


             "Uh, no. It's actually one of the hardest."


There's nothing like being a teacher.  You're something different to every person in your community: educator, nurturer, disciplinarian, coach, event planner, tutor, best friend, role-model, safety-officer, resource, inspiration, facilitator, advisor, evaluator, behavior analyst, professional developer, babysitter, saint, psychic, magician! Just kidding about the last 3...sort of...


A teacher typically isn't all these things to one child; I have about 95 each year.  95 unique little people, with different personalities, issues, backgrounds and languages.  So the hats I wear switch from minute to minute...


Yet, we don't sit around complaining about the kids...each and every one of them fascinate me, challenge me and make going to work a pleasure. No, it's never the kids we complain about...It's all those people who want to tell us what to do as if we don't know any better.  As if education isn't the passion that drives us to pursue this career.


So what's not to love?


1) True: You get the summer off, in addition to a Holiday Break, Winter Break and Spring Break
   - However, I teacher summer school every year
   - I go to professional development during each break
   
2) False: You're home by 3:30
   - Only if you have kids to run home to.  I teach after school programs and stay late to catch up on grading, organizing, planning, meetings...
   - My commute to work is almost an hour when there's traffic (and when isn't there traffic in NYC?)


3) False: The Facebook Guy just might give you $100 million
   - He gave the district $100 mil.  In Newark, not New York and I doubt the teachers in Newark will ever see a dime of it.



4) True: Oprah will love you 
   - You might never get to meet her or get a trip to Australia, but its the thought that counts... 


5) True: John Legend might make a song for you...
   - Thanks  
   
6) False: You get inspirational movies made about you like Dangerous Minds, Freedom Writers and The Blind Side
   - Aside from To Sir With Love, these movies are only about caucasian people who reach out to under-privleged kids or bash teachers for choosing to teach in poor neighborhoods.  These movies ARE NOT about me.









So you wonder, why do you teach? 






September has always been my favorite month - not only is it my birth month - but because it has always been Back to School Month. I've always loved school.  I loved it as a student and I've loved it as a teacher.  Thanks to some great teachers along the way, I've become the type of person who loves learning.  

Somehow, after college, I ended up processing class action lawsuit claims.  This was incredibly interesting at first...but I wasn't learning anything...I wasn't moving - physically and mentally.


Late one night in 2002 while I was searching the web for a graduate program, this annoying pop-up ad kept appearing, so I finally decided to click on it.


Free Master's Degree in exchange for teaching in NYC for 3 years
(well those aren't the exact words but that's the gist of it)


Free is good.  I began to fill out the online application.  How hard can teaching be?  It's only 3 years of my life...




Nine years later I still love my job - a job I never new I always wanted.


Let me re-phrase that.


Nine years later, I still love working with kids - but the job is breaking my heart.


Now while my intention was to get a free Masters Degree and run, I chose to stay in a New York City Public Middle School.  I chose to work with middle school aged kids.  I chose to teach ESL kids when no one else wanted to work with them in my school.

I fell in love with my career because of these ESL students and the freedom I had to introduce them to English and New York.  I took them on 5 trips a year - The Hall of Science, the Museum of the Moving Image, The Intrepid, and Brooklyn Academy of Music.  While the rest of the kids were preparing for this 8th grade ELA Exam, I was reading Romeo and Juliet with my class.  We even did a play from the Twilight Zone...

But then the rules changed...A student living in this country for one year is expected to pass the ELA (English Language Arts) Exam. ONE YEAR?  A test that even native English speakers have trouble passing. I want to know what other countries give you a test after one year expecting a child to be able to read, write, listen and answer multiple choice questions in another language?

Well, that put an end to trips. That put an end to art and music for English Language Learners.  

We now test them every week and post their scores on a chart for everyone to see.  We test them school-wide once a month.  We do practice ELA exams so many times throughout the year, the students hardly realize when the real test comes along.  

What is it all for?  I hear explanations with words like "standards" "benchmarks" "data analysis" "data-folio" "academic rigor" and it just makes me want to puke!  It all comes down to these scores and the teacher.  If the scores are low, something is wrong with that teacher.  The teacher should be fired.  The teacher should be re-trained.  The teacher needs to be put on probation.  The teacher needs more professional development, inquiry, assessments...



                                                   *               *              *





"You would have gone to Stuyvesant,my friend Maria insisted when I told her I wish I could have gone to her high school, Brooklyn Tech.


I remember wishing I lived in the city so I could apply to schools with cool "majors" like LaGuardia High School for Music and Performing Arts, Aviation High School, or Bronx Science.  However, we lived in Long Island, where you ended up in whichever district high school you lived near.



"Why Stuyvesant?" 


asked.

"Because it's the top school; Brooklyn Tech is 3rdshe explained.

"Aw, you think I'm smart?" I had to laugh in appreciation and surprise.  After 9 years of being bashed as incompetent by the NY Post, Joel Klein and Bloomberg, I questioned my intellect.


When I hear people thanking their teachers for their achievements, I tear up.  It's so rare!  Why?



September is getting a bit harder to love each year.













Monday, May 23, 2011

10 Things You Probably Shouldn't Say to Someone Recently Engaged

When my sister was pregnant with my first niece, I always found it kind of creepy when complete strangers would come up to her and rub her belly.  Is that socially acceptable?  I almost wanted to be pregnant just so I could say to an approaching hand, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Turns out, the comments people make as they admire my ring gives me the same creeped-out feeling.  Seriously people, say congratulations and move on!

10) Oh my God, congratulations!  Is it real? (F*@# @^*!!!)

9)  Oh my God, congratulations! Does he have kids? (Uh, Noooo...but thanks for wondering about that...)

8)  Oh my God, congratulations!  Is he a US Citizen? (Seriously?  Is that the 1st question you think to ask?)

7)  Oh my God, congratulations!  Are you pregnant?  (F*@# @^*!!!)

6)  Oh my God, congratulations!  I can't wait for your wedding! (says the colleague who never says a word to you unless it's to point out a mistake you've made)

5)  Oh my God, congratulations!  Are you going to wear white?  (really???? does that even matter anymore????)

4)  Oh my God, congratulations!  Do you mind if I ask what his legal status is? (His What?!?!?)

3)  Oh my God, congratulations!  Does he have a job?  (Two, in fact.  Thanks so much for your concern for my financial well being :)

2)  Oh my God congratulations!  How are you going to afford a wedding?  Better start tutoring more kids! (Uh, no I'm good.  Dual income, child-free home...)

1) Oh my God, congratulations!  Let me try on your ring. (Hell no!  Do you know how long I've waited to wear it?  It'll take at least twice as long till I take it off!!!)

Luckily, I have an amazing new fiance to help me laugh through the BS and enjoy the rest of my life with :)